Expert Locksmith Advice

Resolutions From A Barnsley Locksmith

Twenty twenty then. 2020. Twenty 20. No matter how you write it, it’s difficult to believe we’ve reached this point and STILL we’re not all getting to work in flying cars accompanied by our robot friends. Still, we have Segways and Alexa, so maybe we’re not all that far off. Anyway, I hope your festive period was most enjoyable, and let’s see about tackling the year ahead. 

A New Year brings with it the issue of New Year’s resolutions. Whether these are to improve your exercise levels, do more recycling, or prepare more human sacrifices to Zorb, the Great God of the underworld, some will be more successful than others. (I fear Zorb will be displeased for at least another year).  In case you’re struggling to think of any resolutions for yourself, may I be so bold as to suggest a few. You’ll be shocked to hear they all relate to the subject of home security – you’ve probably spotted a theme on this blog over the years.  I promise that all of them are a darn sight easier to accomplish than losing five stone or resolving to make this the year you finally scale Mount Everest.

Stay Safe in Autumn

The “aren’t the evenings drawing in?” greetings seem to come around quicker each year, and here we are again, with the clocks having gone back last weekend. If you forgot to do that, well you’ve probably had a confusing week. Nevertheless, this time of year is good news for those of you who enjoy the whole Halloween/Bonfire Night thing, as well as for those who can sense the C word on the horizon. (no not that one, this is a family blog). Or should it even be the E word, what with an election now inserting itself inconveniently between now and Christmas. 

Student Security Advice

Ah, it’s September, the month that takes its name from septem, the Latin word for seven, because as we all know, September is the seventh month.  Isn’t it? Okay, just checking if you’re paying attention. Under the oldest Roman calendar, September actually was the seventh month out of ten, but then there was all sorts of jiggery-pokery involving calendar reform, with the two extra months of January and February added, leading to September becoming the ninth month instead. However, it kept its original name, and it even had a day added a bit later on, making it up to 30 days.  You’ll notice I’m trying to sound intelligent here (isn’t Wikipedia great?), and that’s because my thoughts have drifted towards our esteemed seats of learning – universities. The new term (or semester if that floats your boat) will be starting soon, and in amongst all that learning, there may well be the practicalities as your offspring move into a new place for the first time. But how can you make sure they remain as safe as possible in their new accommodation? 

Upvc Door Problems in Barnsley

So, a customer emailed me, requesting that I write about my experiences with PVC. A bit unusual, I thought, but I guess it’s nice to share. The first time I felt it on my skin, it changed my life. So sensual and exciting that I knew things would never be the same again. And when I met other people who shared my passion… wait, what’s that now? Oh, I’ve just reread the email and they said UPVC, not PVC. I guess they meant doors and not well…let’s gloss over that and wipe the slate clean. PVC is very wipeable too, you know…no, no. UPVC, UPVC, let’s get back on track.

Upvc Door Problems In Summer

I had the radio on the other day and what should pop up but the Mungo Jerry song, beginning “In the summertime when the weather is hot; You can stretch right up and touch the sky”. Once I’d wrestled with the philosophical dilemma of whether you can really stretch up and touch the sky, and the scientific question of where indeed the sky begins, I then turned my attention to the first half of those lyrics, and began to feel really quite summery. Until I looked out the window at the hailstorm currently taking rattling down on the patio.

Spring Barnsley Locksmith Advice

Whassup! Yes, I know that’s a reference that’s 20 years out of date, but if Theresa May can say “Simples” in the House of Commons then I can bring back ad slogans from the 1990s too. Count yourself lucky I didn’t go a further 20 years back and bring out the secret lemonade drinker song or the “For mash, get Smash” jingle. Although I just did. Anyway, you may have noticed I’ve had a commercial break of my own from this blog the last couple of months whilst getting on with regular exciting stuff like work and life, but now normal service has been resumed. Like a new-born lamb, I have emerged, blinking into the spring sunshine. But please don’t think I’ve been inside a sheep for the last couple of months – that’s where the analogy rather breaks down. 

Xmas Tips From A Barnsley Locksmith

As a Christmas “treat”, and with huge apologies to Clement Clarke Moore whose poem I may have shamelessly stolen and amended to reflect a more security conscious age... 

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the properly secured house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, as they’d been prevented entry by recently-fitted anti snap locks.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, but far enough from the fire to ensure no fire hazard presented itself.
In hopes that no-one soon would be there, for the locks, alarms and security lights should act as a real deterrent. 

Info On Cylinder Security

So I guess we’d better acknowledge the elephant in the room. Not literally, as that would be weird, and in my experience, large pachyderms will eventually leave out of embarrassment if you ignore them for long enough. Rather, a figurative elephant. Not Brexit on this occasion as we’ve had quite enough of that, but instead the impending approach of Christmas. We’ve already got the adverts appearing, the lights on display and soon it’ll be time to frantically search the shops for the perfect gift for Aunt Clara, before deciding on a perfumed bath set that will never get used.

Things to be aware of in Winter

Halloween will soon be upon us. I know this because going into Home Bargains the other day I was confronted with an aisle wholly devoted to Christmas. The Halloween section had been there since July, of course, and no doubt the Easter aisle will be in place before the end of November. 

With Halloween, comes all things spooky and a slew of horror films being released. I was pondering on these the other day and wondering how different some of the classic horror movies would have been had the participants paid more attention to home security. I know, I lead quite the life, don’t I? 

Why you should use a local Barnsley locksmith

You may have seen that the League of Gentlemen are back and currently undertaking a national tour of their show. Which hopefully means that a new generation of fans will soon be repeating phrases such as “You’re my wife now, Dave”, “pens are our friends” and, most famously, the sinister “This is a local shop for local people…we’ll have no trouble here,” as uttered by Tubbs and Edwards in their unique village store.

However, ‘local’ doesn’t have to mean weird and scary, replete with “no-tails” and sacrificing any passing workmen. Which is a good job, because when I refer to myself as a local locksmith I’d rather people didn’t get the image of Tubbs breastfeeding a piglet in their heads. Which, now I’ve mentioned it, they probably will. Damn. Stop imagining that.