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Expert Locksmith Advice

31 March

Are Barnsley Locksmiths Key Workers

Well, it’s all a bit of a to-do out there at the moment, isn’t it? Quarantine, lockdown, daily televised government briefings, and now our infected Prime Minister writing to every household in the country – this wasn’t all in the script when we wished each other a happy and healthy 2020 last New Years’ Eve

I’m not here to give you any guidance on how to deal with the current COVID-19 crisis. I will leave this to the likes of Professor Whitty and the rest of the senior government advisors. I would just reiterate that, although experts have had a bad rap the last few years, it’s important to listen to their advice to keep us all safe and get us back to normal as soon as possible. So please visit the NHS website should you have any concerns on that score. 

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01 March

The Role Of Locks in Films

I don’t know if you saw the Oscars a few weeks back – you may remember that the best Picture Award went to Parasite, beating off competition from the likes of 1917 and Jojo Rabbit. Parasite is an excellent film, by the way, and as its victory has annoyed Donald Trump, that’s another facet in its favour. 

Without giving away too many spoilers, there is a plot point in Parasite surrounding a locked passageway, and this got me thinking about the role that locks and keys have played in films. Right from the beginnings of cinema they’ve played a pivotal role. You only have to travel 8 years into cinema’s history to find Edwin S Porter’s The Great Train Robbery in 1903. The gang there didn’t really bother with keys, instead preferring to use dynamite to blow the safe on the train and steal the valuables within.

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02 February

Brief History of uPVC Windows

As we approach Valentine’s Day, what could be more romantic than a look at the history of windows? That’s a rhetorical question by the way, you don’t need to knock up a comprehensive list to email through – my bandwidth won’t take it. 

So, where do we start? Well, there was this chap called Bill Gates and back in the day, he had big ideas about the future of the home computer. He realised each computer would need its own operating system, and this could be where the money.. what’s that? Oh, not THAT sort of windows? But I’ve done all my research and everything, that was a waste of time. But if you insist… let’s look at the other kind of window. The glassy, transparent version you look through, and not the one you use to log on to emails at work.

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01 January

Resolutions From A Barnsley Locksmith

Twenty twenty then. 2020. Twenty 20. No matter how you write it, it’s difficult to believe we’ve reached this point and STILL we’re not all getting to work in flying cars accompanied by our robot friends. Still, we have Segways and Alexa, so maybe we’re not all that far off. Anyway, I hope your festive period was most enjoyable, and let’s see about tackling the year ahead. 

A New Year brings with it the issue of New Year’s resolutions. Whether these are to improve your exercise levels, do more recycling, or prepare more human sacrifices to Zorb, the Great God of the underworld, some will be more successful than others. (I fear Zorb will be displeased for at least another year).  In case you’re struggling to think of any resolutions for yourself, may I be so bold as to suggest a few. You’ll be shocked to hear they all relate to the subject of home security – you’ve probably spotted a theme on this blog over the years.  I promise that all of them are a darn sight easier to accomplish than losing five stone or resolving to make this the year you finally scale Mount Everest.

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03 November

Stay Safe in Autumn

The “aren’t the evenings drawing in?” greetings seem to come around quicker each year, and here we are again, with the clocks having gone back last weekend. If you forgot to do that, well you’ve probably had a confusing week. Nevertheless, this time of year is good news for those of you who enjoy the whole Halloween/Bonfire Night thing, as well as for those who can sense the C word on the horizon. (no not that one, this is a family blog). Or should it even be the E word, what with an election now inserting itself inconveniently between now and Christmas. 

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14 September

Student Security Advice

Ah, it’s September, the month that takes its name from septem, the Latin word for seven, because as we all know, September is the seventh month.  Isn’t it? Okay, just checking if you’re paying attention. Under the oldest Roman calendar, September actually was the seventh month out of ten, but then there was all sorts of jiggery-pokery involving calendar reform, with the two extra months of January and February added, leading to September becoming the ninth month instead. However, it kept its original name, and it even had a day added a bit later on, making it up to 30 days.  You’ll notice I’m trying to sound intelligent here (isn’t Wikipedia great?), and that’s because my thoughts have drifted towards our esteemed seats of learning – universities. The new term (or semester if that floats your boat) will be starting soon, and in amongst all that learning, there may well be the practicalities as your offspring move into a new place for the first time. But how can you make sure they remain as safe as possible in their new accommodation? 

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21 July

Upvc Door Problems in Barnsley

So, a customer emailed me, requesting that I write about my experiences with PVC. A bit unusual, I thought, but I guess it’s nice to share. The first time I felt it on my skin, it changed my life. So sensual and exciting that I knew things would never be the same again. And when I met other people who shared my passion… wait, what’s that now? Oh, I’ve just reread the email and they said UPVC, not PVC. I guess they meant doors and not well…let’s gloss over that and wipe the slate clean. PVC is very wipeable too, you know…no, no. UPVC, UPVC, let’s get back on track.

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12 May

Upvc Door Problems In Summer

I had the radio on the other day and what should pop up but the Mungo Jerry song, beginning “In the summertime when the weather is hot; You can stretch right up and touch the sky”. Once I’d wrestled with the philosophical dilemma of whether you can really stretch up and touch the sky, and the scientific question of where indeed the sky begins, I then turned my attention to the first half of those lyrics, and began to feel really quite summery. Until I looked out the window at the hailstorm currently taking rattling down on the patio.

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23 March

Spring Barnsley Locksmith Advice

Whassup! Yes, I know that’s a reference that’s 20 years out of date, but if Theresa May can say “Simples” in the House of Commons then I can bring back ad slogans from the 1990s too. Count yourself lucky I didn’t go a further 20 years back and bring out the secret lemonade drinker song or the “For mash, get Smash” jingle. Although I just did. Anyway, you may have noticed I’ve had a commercial break of my own from this blog the last couple of months whilst getting on with regular exciting stuff like work and life, but now normal service has been resumed. Like a new-born lamb, I have emerged, blinking into the spring sunshine. But please don’t think I’ve been inside a sheep for the last couple of months – that’s where the analogy rather breaks down. 

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22 December

Xmas Tips From A Barnsley Locksmith

As a Christmas “treat”, and with huge apologies to Clement Clarke Moore whose poem I may have shamelessly stolen and amended to reflect a more security conscious age... 

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the properly secured house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, as they’d been prevented entry by recently-fitted anti snap locks.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, but far enough from the fire to ensure no fire hazard presented itself.
In hopes that no-one soon would be there, for the locks, alarms and security lights should act as a real deterrent. 

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