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General

30 October

Car Theft Prevention

What do you do if you see a Spaceman? Park your car, man!

I seem to have developed an addiction to sniffing brake fluid but it’s okay… I can stop at any time. 

What happens when a frog’s car breaks down? It gets toad away. 

Yes, you’ve joined me bang in the middle of my car jokes marathon. Although I use the word “jokes” advisedly. I have a lot more of them, but for the sake of your sanity I’ll leave it at just the three. But all this just serves as an introduction to today’s blog which is all about, take a guess… yep, cars. 

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15 August

Locksmith on Summer Holiday

Hi there. Usually at this time of year I would do a blog about precautions to take to secure your property when going away for a summer holiday.  What with one thing and another, though, this year is kind of different, and a lot of people will be having a staycation in the true meaning of the word, so whilst I can still advise you to look back on those blogs, I thought it might be rubbing salt into the wound a bit to assume we’re all going away for a nice holiday this year. 

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10 February

Be aware of the latest Burglary tricks

Whilst we’re all still in lockdown we still need to be on guard when it comes to home security. It is estimated there are still over 1,000 burglaries happening each day in the UK despite most of us finding ourselves at home both during the day and in the evenings. This is forcing burglars to have to come up with new, creative ways to beak in to our homes.


Burglars are having to be mindful of people at home, in this blog we discuss some of the latest burglary tricks. Being aware of these tricks will help you better prepare, allowing you to fully safeguard your home for both you and your family.

 

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06 February

A Short History Of Locks

“Hello there, and welcome back to the home-schooling history class. I’ll be your guest teacher today, leading the lesson for a one-off look at the history of locks and locksmithing. Think of me as a slightly low energy Joe Wicks, but without the PE kit and less risk of injury. Before we start, just to say I know how supply teachers are often treated, and let me tell you, there will be none of that on my watch, but thank you to whoever left me this lovely chocolate cake here which is… oh, that doesn’t taste like chocolate. (Was that you, Kerry? How are your dogs getting on?) Anyway, on with the lecture. 

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02 February

Brief History of uPVC Windows

As we approach Valentine’s Day, what could be more romantic than a look at the history of windows? That’s a rhetorical question by the way, you don’t need to knock up a comprehensive list to email through – my bandwidth won’t take it. 

So, where do we start? Well, there was this chap called Bill Gates and back in the day, he had big ideas about the future of the home computer. He realised each computer would need its own operating system, and this could be where the money.. what’s that? Oh, not THAT sort of windows? But I’ve done all my research and everything, that was a waste of time. But if you insist… let’s look at the other kind of window. The glassy, transparent version you look through, and not the one you use to log on to emails at work.

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01 January

Resolutions From A Barnsley Locksmith

Twenty twenty then. 2020. Twenty 20. No matter how you write it, it’s difficult to believe we’ve reached this point and STILL we’re not all getting to work in flying cars accompanied by our robot friends. Still, we have Segways and Alexa, so maybe we’re not all that far off. Anyway, I hope your festive period was most enjoyable, and let’s see about tackling the year ahead. 

A New Year brings with it the issue of New Year’s resolutions. Whether these are to improve your exercise levels, do more recycling, or prepare more human sacrifices to Zorb, the Great God of the underworld, some will be more successful than others. (I fear Zorb will be displeased for at least another year).  In case you’re struggling to think of any resolutions for yourself, may I be so bold as to suggest a few. You’ll be shocked to hear they all relate to the subject of home security – you’ve probably spotted a theme on this blog over the years.  I promise that all of them are a darn sight easier to accomplish than losing five stone or resolving to make this the year you finally scale Mount Everest.

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14 September

Student Security Advice

Ah, it’s September, the month that takes its name from septem, the Latin word for seven, because as we all know, September is the seventh month.  Isn’t it? Okay, just checking if you’re paying attention. Under the oldest Roman calendar, September actually was the seventh month out of ten, but then there was all sorts of jiggery-pokery involving calendar reform, with the two extra months of January and February added, leading to September becoming the ninth month instead. However, it kept its original name, and it even had a day added a bit later on, making it up to 30 days.  You’ll notice I’m trying to sound intelligent here (isn’t Wikipedia great?), and that’s because my thoughts have drifted towards our esteemed seats of learning – universities. The new term (or semester if that floats your boat) will be starting soon, and in amongst all that learning, there may well be the practicalities as your offspring move into a new place for the first time. But how can you make sure they remain as safe as possible in their new accommodation? 

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23 March

Spring Barnsley Locksmith Advice

Whassup! Yes, I know that’s a reference that’s 20 years out of date, but if Theresa May can say “Simples” in the House of Commons then I can bring back ad slogans from the 1990s too. Count yourself lucky I didn’t go a further 20 years back and bring out the secret lemonade drinker song or the “For mash, get Smash” jingle. Although I just did. Anyway, you may have noticed I’ve had a commercial break of my own from this blog the last couple of months whilst getting on with regular exciting stuff like work and life, but now normal service has been resumed. Like a new-born lamb, I have emerged, blinking into the spring sunshine. But please don’t think I’ve been inside a sheep for the last couple of months – that’s where the analogy rather breaks down. 

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22 September

Why you should use a local Barnsley locksmith

You may have seen that the League of Gentlemen are back and currently undertaking a national tour of their show. Which hopefully means that a new generation of fans will soon be repeating phrases such as “You’re my wife now, Dave”, “pens are our friends” and, most famously, the sinister “This is a local shop for local people…we’ll have no trouble here,” as uttered by Tubbs and Edwards in their unique village store.

However, ‘local’ doesn’t have to mean weird and scary, replete with “no-tails” and sacrificing any passing workmen. Which is a good job, because when I refer to myself as a local locksmith I’d rather people didn’t get the image of Tubbs breastfeeding a piglet in their heads. Which, now I’ve mentioned it, they probably will. Damn. Stop imagining that. 

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01 July

Gardens, sheds and garage security advice

I may have trouble getting through the blog this month, as it seems I’ve begun to melt. The last week or so has taken its toll, and my body now mainly consists of a puddle on the floor. What I’m trying to say here, to slight dramatic effect, is that crikey it’s HOT. We seem to have gone from snow to insane heat in a matter of weeks, completely bypassing Spring. I guess there’s not much point complaining about the heat though, as no doubt we’ll soon be back to the Winter, probably missing out Autumn along the way. But anyway, what am I doing banging on about the weather for? Well, mainly to get through the first paragraph, but also to introduce the topic of today’s blog in the second paragraph. 

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Would definitely recommend to others and although we hope not to see you again soon hahaha, we'll certainly keep in mind for any future issues! Thanks again!!

Gary Andrews, Barnsley


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